A Word on Books...

For the last 8 years or so, I have read very few actual books. By 'actual' I mean books without pictures and more than 40 pages. Oh, and books that don't contain words like "Whoops!" or "Roar!" or "Wow!" or pretty much any of those words that denote a sound and are followed by the requisite exclaimation mark. Before eight years ago, I read voraciously. When I was single, I read ALL THE TIME, especially when I was working 12-hour night shifts at the hospital. (People's ability to converse coherently really drops off after about 3 am.)

But something happened to me eight years ago that really cut into my reading time: I had my first baby. He was quickly followed by 4 additional siblings, including a pair of twins who all but demolished any free-time I had before. Reading was one of the first things to go, followed by most of my other hobbies.

Don't get me wrong... I read! In the last eight years I have read: The Book of Mormon (at least 6 times), It's Raining Pigs and Noodles (about a million), anything by Dr. Seuss (which I actually don't mind, the rhyming is entertaining and kinda catchy), and a hilarious book called "Big Plans," which we've read more times than I can count. Those are the Big 4. There are a lot more. I'm really big on making sure my kids have a lot to read. And my older sister bought them books every time she babysat for years... (until she got married and had a baby of her own.) When we moved here to Idaho about 8 months ago, I packed up 6 boxes of books. One entire box remains unopened (and un-missed) in the boys' closet.

I hear from my sisters all the time about all the great books they're reading... I honestly don't know where they find the time. If I had spare time to read and sat still long enough to get through a page, I was passed out, dreaming. Yes, I'm sad to say that my list of reads this last decade is frightfully short.

BUT! Two things, actually. 1. I am now back in the land of the living. I'm done having babies, have no infants (although still 2 in diapers) and by next fall more than half of my children will be in school. So I am officially reading more. I read an entire book this last weekend. "The Hunger Games" by Suzanne Collins. It was really good and moved along at a pretty good clip (a MUST when you have as short an attention span as I do!) I just bought the other two in the trilogy on Amazon.
2. While I haven't been filling my head with the great literary works of the world these past 8 years, I have been otherwise occupied. I have spent some very precious moments curled up with my little brood, reading "Little Boy," "The Giving Tree" and many more. The year he was 7, my oldest son and I spent the year reading the Book of Mormon together. It was the catalyst for many deep conversation and sweet moments as his little testimony grew. His Primary teacher stopped me in the hall on Sunday and told me how surprised she was at his knowledge of the Scriptures.

So yeah, there have been a lot of books I missed. But I wouldn't trade what I was doing instead of reading. Now that my children are getting a little older, we've started the Harry Potter books together. Pick your jaw up off the floor. That's right, I've never read any of them. Or seen the movies. It's an adventure I was saving to share with them.

The Granolas

Wow, will you look at that?! Twice in less than a month! Here I sit, at the computer, while the boys are cleaning up the playroom. It was another very long day, but a satisfying one. Andrew, one of my 22 month old twins, and I went to Kindermusik today. Andrew started speech therapy last week due to his inability or unwillingness to utter any words other than 'dada,' 'no,' and 'hi.' (On the good-news front, he did say 'penis' during bathtime tonight.) The speech therapist signed us up for this class because she thought it might help him to be around other kids his age. I guess the fact that he has been with another 'kid his age' since conception doesn't count. Anyway, the class was this morning and I figured we'd give it a whirl. If for no other reason than that I NEVER get to do something with just one of the twins like this. I don't even get to go to the grocery store with just one twin. So I thought Andrew would get a kick out of being the 'one and only' with Mommy for an hour.

When we arrived, a bunch of barefaced women wearing wool sweaters and Tevas with socks were sitting around discussing the trials of cloth diapers and 'babywearing.' I was in full makeup, slacks and a cardigan. They looked at me and smiled and we made polite small talk until class started. I must say, I judged them pretty quickly. They were Granolas. Which is not necessarily a negative thing. I just am not one of 'them.' Granolas are the moms who walk everywhere, wear their babies in a hard-to-wind sling until they're 3, breastfeed graphically in public (also until the child is near 3.) They wear the aformentioned Tevas year-round usually with cargo pants or cargo shorts, weather-permitting. They don't wear makeup, they use cloth diapers, they buy organic. These are the moms who made me feel like crap for not making my own baby food, giving up on breastfeeding before my kids were in kindergarten, and ruining the Earth with my giant minivan. I figured we would have nothing in common. My experience with the Granolas hasn't been entirely positive. Usually I find myself feeling terribly inadequate, feeling overdressed, feeling like I have somehow cheated my children by giving them store-bought baby food and formula. I was prepared for the worst.

BUT... I was pleasantly surprised. One of the little girls started to throw a huge tantrum in the middle of the class. We're talking a huge, on the floor, kicking, screaming, snot-all-over meltdown. As this was happening, I saw on her mother's face the same thing I feel when one of my kids do something similar. She was embarrassed and at a loss for what to do. I felt an immediate kinship to her; usually it's my kid who's throwing the fit. After the class, the Granolas and I sat around and chatted. They had the same problems with their kids that I struggle through with mine. (In spite of the cloth diapers and gluten-free diets.) They weren't looking down their noses at me in my man-made fiber clothing. They were genuinely interested in me and Andrew. They were all without words, mouths hanging open for a bit when I told them that I had 5 kids. Then they all told me how I didn't look old enough to have 5 kids. :-) Maybe the Granolas aren't so bad after all!

Unexcused Absence...

All right. I guess I don't have any excuses for my long absence again. Since I last posted, I quit my job, moved my familoy of 7 over 800 miles and completely pressed the 'reset' button on my entire life. I'm now a stay-at-home mom of five. Sometimes, a single, stay-at-home mom of five. Peter started law school in August and is gone between 12 and 15 hours a day. Ugh. We've been so spoiled the last five years, with Peter being a stay-at-home dad and me just working part time. We were able to spend so much time together! I wish I had realized it at the time... I'm still going through Husband Withdrawals, even though we are more than 1/2way through the first year. Being a stay-at-home mom has been interesting. First, they should never call it a 'stay-at-home' mom because if you have more than 2 kids, I can't imagine that you would be doing a lot of staying at home. I certainly don't. Most mornings go like today: get up at about 5am, run on the elliptical downstairs for an hour while catching up on my dvr'd shows from the night before, shower and get ready, get kids up and dressed, babies up and dressed, make lunches, comb hair, make beds, find coats, hats and gloves, ask a million times "Do you have your____ (fill in the blank: homework, library book, permission slip etc.)" then drive husband to school because his ride flaked, drive Brandon and Nathan to school at the opposite end of town, then drive back in the other direction across town to drop Ian off at preschool, then go to the grocery store with a pair of annoyed and impatient twins to get the fixings for a huge batch of chili I signed up to make for a preschool fundraiser tonight. Then I come home and am faced with a mess in the kitchen, bedroonms and laundry room. But I'm exhaused, so I am here on the computer. The thing I've noticed about being a work-at-home mom is that I don't have less guilt than I did when I was working outside the home. I still have just as much guilt, sometimes more. I feel guilty if I don't get housework done, but I also feel guilty if I don't play blocks with the babies for 2 hours. I feel guilty if I don't do something intellectually stimulating with Ian when the babies are napping, I feel guilty if I don't volunteer at school, but I also feel guilty for leaving the twins with a sitter if I do volunteer at school. I wish there was some magical formula for getting rid of Mommyguilt, but so far I haven't come across it. If anyone else has, please let me know.

Excused Absence

Okay, so I guess it's been a while since I posted anything on my blog. A long while. Like, five months. But in my defense, I have a good reason. I actually have a few reasons:

1.) We are moving. My husband has been unemployed for a while now and with the job market the way it was, and with our finances the way they were, we knew something had to give. We decided that Peter would go back to school this fall. Law school. He has wanted to go for while now. He brought it up to me nearly 4 years ago, took the LSAT, and applied to the only school I would sanction: the nearby University of Utah. The U, more concerned with 'diversity' than quality applicants, turned him down flat, despite his above average LSAT score and GPA.

That was the end of the conversations about law school for a while. We went through an extended financial boom with my job that lasted until January 1st, 2010, when it abruptly stopped. (Thank you, Mr. Obama and members of Congress...) The idea of law school was resurrected as a way for Peter to acquire some skills that would offer him a chance at meaningful employment. But we knew that the Univ. of Utah was probably still out of reach. He applied to six schools, of which we selected the University of Idaho. A 12-hour drive from our home in Utah. So we have taken all the necessary steps to prepare to move a family of 7. We rented out our home, found a house in Moscow, Idaho to rent, I quit my job, and we started packing. We are now less than 2 weeks from The Day. The kids are excited; I have mixed emotions.

2.) I have 5 growing kids who are increasingly busy.

Brandon is nearly 8 and has had a goal to read the Book of Mormon this year before his baptism in September. He needed some help, it's a heavy read. I needed some help at times! But we did it together and finished about a month ago. It was really satisfying for him to reach his goal. He felt pretty proud and I was proud of him.

Nathan will be 6 this week. He is my child who is most like me, so we butt heads a lot. But I love him dearly and have really enjoyed watching him blossom through kindergarten this year. He has also recently discovered some artistic talent. He entered and won an Arbor Day poster contest at school in April, which made him feel pretty neat. His grandmother, herself a very accomplished and prolific painter, has taken a special interest in him and has him over every other week for some painting lessons.

Ian, turning 4 June 1st, is my sweet little cherub. He has the chubbiest cheeks and sweetest disposition. He is the most gentle-hearted little boy. It has been such a joy for me to get to spend time alone with him this year. The 2-3 hours during which the twins are napping and the big boys are at school are so pleasant. He calls it his "Mommy-and-Ian-time." I feel like I've gotten to know him so much better. He amazes me with his vocabulary, sensitivity, and empathy. What a gem he is.

Andrew and Olivia turned 1 on April 7th. I can't believe the first year of their lives has gone by so fast! It feels like just yesterday I was waddling around town... As they get older, bigger, and more mobile, the challenges of raising twins change. They are now in to everything! Especially Andrew, who doesn't stop moving from the minute he gets up in the morning until he goes to bed at night. Olivia is more mellow, but definitely a drama queen. She can definitely hold her own with Andrew and the big boys. And with Daddy, for that matter!

Now that I'm a stay-at-home-mom though, it's almost like a commandment that I have to blog. So I will try to be better about it.

So yeah. Raising kids, working, and preparing for a major move has kept me a little busy.

Saving the Environment...

Hello! Christmas is finally over... sometimes I have mixed feelings about this time of year, but since I've had kids my mixing has ceased. I am glad Christmas is over. Don't get me wrong, I love this time of year. I love baking with my kids and listening to Christmas songs. I love shopping for gifts for my kids and decorating the tree. I really love watching Christmas movies with my family, like Elf and A Christmas Story which this year made my 7 year old consider asking Santa for a Red Rider BB gun.

But, I must admit, there are some parts I don't like so much. Like the snow, or the crowds at every place from the grocery store to the ladies room at Macy's. I don't like stepping on small ornaments because my 3 year old just can't help himself and takes every ornament within his reach down. I don't like feeling that 'deadline' feeling that hovers over me like rotten mistletoe from Thanksgiving to December 26th.

I will be the first to admit that I have a tendancy to go overboard at Christmas in the gifts department. I see things all year that I think will be great for a certain child, and when the buying season arrives, I go a little crazy. Because we have a large family, we start early. Really early. Like, in July. If we didn't we'd go broke. Which gives me that much longer to overspend. We are a cash-only family, we don't have a single credit card. So we have to watch our dollars and cents. Especially this year with our drastic decrease in income and our addition of 2 children to the team.

My sister-in-law mentioned something to me a couple of years ago that he mom did at Christmas. In buying gifts, each child got 4: "Something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read." That's what we did. Each of our children got 4 things: a toy, an educational toy, a book, and an outfit. Then my husband and I pinky swore that we wouldn't buy ANYTHING else. And we didn't.

So when we were wrapping gift frantically the night before Christmas Eve, I was feeling good about my restraint this year. That lasted about an hour. Then I got sick of wrapping and the 'four gifts per child' rule seemed like waaay too many! As the clock neared midnight, I was kicking myself for purchasing oddly shaped things that were difficult to wrap. It was getting veeeery late.

In the afterglow of the Present Opening Frenzy, I looked around at the carnage. Wads of wrapping paper, mangled bows, crumpled tissue paper, empty boxes, clothing with tags still on, boxes that had been demolished in order to remove their contents... It took four full-size garbage bags to get it all out to the trash can. Another part of Christmas I don't like.

I propose NO WRAPPING next year. Let's just take everything out of the box ahead of time and throw out the packaging and put each child's things in a pile. Won't the kids be just as happy? Is there such an attachment to the ritual of opening a gift? Not if you're under 10. Think of all the time and money and clean-up it would save...! And not to mention the wrapping paper and trees.

Somebody should call Al Gore and tell him about this.

Christmas Cheer...

I love Christmas. I really love it, and not just the presents. I love the music, the weather, the tree, the decorations, the baking... everything! The last couple Christmases have come during difficult times for our family. Last Christmas, heavily pregnant with twins, we found out that as of the first of 2010, we would be losing 75% of our income. Panic set in quickly. Needless to say, I was more than preoccupied last yuletide season.

This Christmas has been better... things are still tough financially, but we have weathered the worst of the storm. We had two healthy babies join our family in 2010, including our first and only daughter. Brandon and Nathan, our older boys, are doing well in school and Ian, our 3 year old, is blossoming with the individual attention he is getting being home with Mom. So this Christmas season has definitely been a lot more jolly...

...which is why I get so annoyed when someone rains on my holiday parade.

A certain mother-in-law of mine, who will remain nameless, called this morning to see if Brandon (7) would like to come over to her house and make Christmas candy with her and the cousins. My husband politely told her that if she had Brandon over, we would have a hard time explaining to Nathan (5) and Ian (3 1/2) why they were not invited to the festivities at Grandma's house. Her response: a very merry "don't bring any of them." Yikes. I was none too pleased, but tried not to make a big deal about it.

But it bothered me... all...day...long.

My mother-in-law and I have a rather colorful history. She has never cared for me. And because she has never liked me, it has made it difficult for me to like her. But I have tried, for the sake of my husband, to be civil.

My own mother, the sweetest most generous and loving woman on the planet, lives nearly 1000 miles from us. She would give her right arm to be able to chase my lovelies all over the kitchen while things burned and she would have cheerfully cleaned up all of the things they spilled too! I was hurt for my kids. They don't get to spend a lot of time with grandparents. We live 10 miles from my in-laws yet we see them fewer than 4 or 5 times a year.

That's when it hit me. Some people care more about the outcome than the experience. They are more concerned with the product than the process. I learned in college calculus that the right answer didn't mean a darn thing if you didn't show your work. My mother-in-law was more concerned with getting Christmas candy made than spending the afternoon with her grandchildren. Someone should tell her, it's more about how you get there than where you go. I guess maybe I should remember that too, especially at Christmas.

But I'm still seething about my mother-in-law...!

A Word About the Title...

Some of you are probably wondering why I titled my blog the way I did. I guess there are a few different reasons...
1.) I have a lot of kids. We've all heard the nursery rhyme about the old woman who lived in a shoe and had so many children she didn't know what to do? Well, sometimes I feel like her. I'm not really old yet, but as I sit here with an 8-month-old on my lap gumming the mouse cord, I'm sure I'll be old before my time.
2.) I love shoes! Since becoming the mother of many, I don't buy myself as many shoes as I used to. Now I buy them for my children. None of my 5 children have fewer than 5 pair of shoes/sandals/booties.

Funny how when you have kids, or at least as many as I do, you care less how you look and more how your kids look. Probably because when we're out together, I know no one is looking at me. They're all looking at this gorgeous basketball team of mine!